Kugira ngo umusore afate umwanzuro wo guhitamo umukobwa wamubera umugore w’ubuzima bwe bwose kenshi bigirwamo uruhare n’umukobwa bakundana. Ibyo ukora nuko witwara bishobora kumuhamiriza ko wavamo umugore mwiza utamutera kwicuza.

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1. Muhe umwanya, wimucungacunga cyane

Burya abahungu ntibakunda kwerekwa n’abakunzi babo ko babacungacunga kuri buri kantu, muhe rero umwanya n’ubwisanzure ureke yiyumvemo ubwigenge no kwifatira ibyemezo bityo azanumva ko akwiye kubikubahira no kwitwara neza, abikore kuko ari ngombwa atari ukubikora kuko wamucungacunze.

2. Gerageza kugaragara neza uko ushoboye kose

Abasore burya bakururwa cyane n’ibigaragara kandi aba yumva yaterwa ishema no kugira umukunzi ugaragara neza, umwe azahura nawe ari kumwe n’inshuti ze ntagire ipfunwe ryo kuziratira ko ariwe mwamikazi w’umutima we. Iyiteho kandi ugaragaze isuku nk’umwari ubikwiye koko aho unyura abone ko uhanyurana umucyo.

3. Irinde gutuma afuha kandi umurwanire ishyaka

Kuba waba udaca inyuma umukunzi wawe ntibihagije, ukwiye no gukora ibishoboka ngo atagukeka akaba yagufuhira. Niba agukunda, yumva ko uri umukobwa n’abandi basore bifuza nk’uko nawe byagenze bityo akumva ko isaha n’isaha bagutwara. Uko umusore agukunda cyane niko arushaho kumva afite impungenge kuko aba yumva ufite agaciro gahambaye buri wese ukureba akubonamo. Kora ibishoboka byose rero ugabanye urukururano n’abandi basore, ugabanye gutaha amajoro cyane no kugira gahunda zidasobanutse kandi utanazimubwiye, mbese ukore ibishoboka byose ye kujya ahagarika umutima ko hari abandi mufitanye umubano wihariye.

4. Mwereke ko umufuhira

Iyo tuvuze gufuha ntituba tuvuze gukabya. Niba rero umukunzi wawe umukunda, ibuka ko nyine hari n’inzindi nkumi zitabarika zimwifuza, umwereke ko ubizi ko ari mwiza kandi akurura abandi bakobwa, umwereke ko wababazwa no kumubona akundana n’undi mbese yumve ko nawe uzi ko afite igikundiro atari imbere yawe gusa ahubwo n’imbere y’abandi bakobwa.

5. Gerageza kuba isoko y’ibyishimo n’umunezero bye

Burya iyo umuntu uwo ariwe wese atekereza ibyo kwinjira mu rukundo, nta kindi kintu aba ashyize imbere cyane kitari ugushaka umunezero n’ibyishimo biva mu rukundo. Gerageza rero nawe mukobwa, ukore ibishoboka byose umushimishe kandi burya abasore ntibagorana, kumuganiriza, kumubwira utuntu twiza wabonye, kumubwira udukuru dushimishije byose bimutwara umutima akumva ko ari wowe soko yavomaho umunezero buri gihe.

7. Kunda inshuti ze

Niba umusore mukundana afite abasore bagenzi be ubona ko ari inshuti magara, ibuka ko bafite ibyo bahuriyeho kandi bashobora kuba baranamugiriye inama igihe yafataga umwanzuro wo kugusaba urukundo. Wihita uhubuka ngo werekane ko inshuti ze ntaho uhuriye nazo ahubwo ereka umukunzi wawe ko wubaha kandi ukunda inshuti ze ubigiriye we, bizatuma arushaho kugira ishema kandi n’ikibazo mwagirana cyose za nshuti ze zakuvugira neza ku mukunzi wawe igihe cyose waba warazisanzuyeho ukazereka ko koko uri umukobwa w’umutima.

8. Menya kumutetesha

Gutetesha burya bibaho mu buryo bwinshi. Ni byiza ko uzirikana ko gushima ibyiza biri ku mukunzi wawe ari ingenzi cyane, ahita yumva ko ahantu akunzwe, ashimwa ntacyo yahanganya. Mwereke ko umuha agaciro kandi ko ari ingenzi cyane kuri wowe, umwereke ko akurutira byose kandi umurutisha bose, umwite utuzina tuzatuma koko yiyumva nk’udasanzwe kuri wowe.

9. Wikumva ko wageze iyo ujya ngo uterere agati mu ryinyo

Abakobwa benshi ndetse n’abagore, iyo bamaze igihe kinini bakundana n’abakunzi babo hari ubwo bajya bakora ikosa ryo kumva ko bafatishije, ko hari ibitakiri ngombwa ko bakora kuko barangije kwizera ko bakunzwe. Oya wikwishuka rwose, urukundo ni nk’umuzabibu ukenera kuhirirwa, kuvomererwa no gufumbirwa na nyuma y’uko wera imbuto. Nunamara kuba umugore, uzakunde kuzirikana cyane bya bintu wakoraga kera ugirango umushimishe kuko niba biri mu byamunyuze akumva ko mwanabana akaramata, ni uko nyine nabyo yabyifuzaga iteka. Wicika intege rero urukundo rukeneye guhora rwuhirirwa iteka.

10. Gerageza kwiteza imbere no kwita ku buzima bwawe bw’ahazaza

Ereka umukunzi wawe ko ushoboye, niba ufite akazi ugakore neza, niba uri umunyeshuri wige neza ushyizeho umwete kandi niba utanafite akazi ube umukobwa w’imishinga, kuburyo ubushake bwawe anabishoboye yagutera inkunga. Niba ufite akazi wikwemera ko buri gihe ariwe uzajya wishyura buri gihe uko musohokanye, fata igihe nawe wishyure umwereke ko nawe uri umukobwa wihagazeho kandi wabasha kwirwanaho, ibi bizamwereka ko nimunabana atazita ku rugo wenyine kandi binamuhamirize ko utari muri babandi bita "abakuzi b’ibyinyo"